The original Birdman (left) has sadly transformed into the tourist attraction on the right Red lips and bird wings. Smoking skulls and stars on heads. Grim Reapers and wild animals.
Are we talking about items in a local costume shop? I wish.
These happen to be a few examples of tattoos on NBA players' bodies, as crazy as that may sound. Tattoos have taken the league by storm, and frankly, I don't like it.
I've seen the introduction of the Baggy Shorts Era that Michael Jordan started in the mid-90's. In the early part of this decade, headbands became the huge fad - so much so that it inclined Bonzi Wells, who was with Portland at the time, to make a rap song titled "You Gotta Get a Headband" with some of his Trail Blazer teammates. Both of those were well and good, but the Tattoo Era of the NBA is too much to handle.
I have nothing against tattoos themselves. I've even considered on many occasions getting one myself. People can get away with a couple tatts, like Kobe Bryant, who has just two tattoos on his right arm and is one of the premiere players in the league. But the fact of the matter is too many players in the league today are abusing their tattoo privileges by "sleeving" their arms with ridiculous ink designs and depictions; I.E. practically the entire Denver Nuggets roster. As a result, the league continues to lose credibility through my eyes. Looking like a basketball player is just as important as playing like one.
Nobody told Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, David Robinson or Jordan they weren't great or weren't cool enough because they didn't have any tattoos. Guys who have too many tattoos in the league today are, to me, trying to call attention to themselves in a pathetic way. Maybe that's why Bird, Magic, The Admiral and MJ never had any tattoos - their style of play was more than enough reason for fans to notice them on the court.
We all know professional leagues like the NBA are different than the standard 9-5 jobs most Americans have. A lot more money is involved, players can just demand to go to another location (99 percent of the time this wish is granted) and you don't need a certain GPA or degree to be successful. As different as it may be, however, there should still be a business-like etiquette to a certain degree in the NBA.
Afterall, isn't that exactly what the NBA is? A business? You always hear players talk about it in that way, especially when talks of trades and free agent signings hit the air waves. Commissioner David Stern was on the right track in trying to make the NBA more business-like when in 2005 he implemented a dress code that eliminated sleeveless shirts, t-shirts, huge jewelry and shorts from players' attire when going to the arena for a game, sitting out with an injury and for post-game press conferences. Stern encouraged players to take a more classy, professional approach and wear suits and/or collared shirts - not a whole lot to ask of guys making seven and eight-figure salaries.
I applauded the move by Stern. In high school, we had a team rule stating that all basketball team members had to wear a shirt and tie to every road game. Our coach, who was my father as well, always felt you should dress like you play. If you want to play like a bum, show up in sweats. If you enter the gym meaning business and are all about winning, come looking like a guy that is actually ready to do business. I was always a supporter of this outlook and was glad to see Stern implement a similar idea into his league.
Even with the dress code in place in the NBA, Stern is still a long way from fully cleaning up the image of his league. It will obviously take a long time because a number of today's young stars are tatted up from head to toe like Lebron James and Carmelo Anthony, but some sort of tattoo limit should be next on Stern's agenda.
My proposition is simple: No more than three tattoos can be exposed by a certain player. If a player has more than three, they must cover them up either by wristband, shooting sleeve or tape if tattoos are on the arms. If they are below the knees, high socks or leg sleeves (such as these here http://www.jumpusa.com/6570T_black_large.jpg) must be worn.
In Stephon Marbury's rare case of having a tattoo on your head (http://images.dailyradar.com/media/uploads/ballhype/story_large/2009/03/25/marbury_head_tattoo.jpg) ...well, there's no need for people that stupid to be in any professional league, so just simply show them the door.
In extreme cases like Chris Andersen, Kenyon Martin, Melo and J.R. Smith - all of whom play for the Nuggets - they get what I call the "tattoo death penalty" or also known as "The Tony Crocker Rule." Rather than explain in words what the Tony Crocker Rule is, it's much easier to show and pretty self-explanatory in the photo below as to what it is.
Step up and make it happen, Mr. Stern. Don't get caught watching the ink dry (pun completely intended).
